2012 Track Worlds

It was on the bus from Bilboa to San Sebastian in Northern Spain Where I finally made peace with myself about my performances at Worlds. I had ridden well, setting a track PR in my Kilo for a slight personal best but only good enough for tenth. Sunday found me in a familiar space, in the start position for the team sprint.
I had been preparing for this race for the entire year, having done hundreds of starts and countless hours in the gym building strength and explosive power. With the clock counting down I got ready to explode out of the gate and chase my fast time from the previous day, where I had set the second fastest start lap in the kilo. I hit the gate clean and flew into turn one, where my worst nightmare occurred, the gun went off signaling a false start. It was here last year in Italy where my race had fallen apart, my left leg, had gone spastic and affected my start. This year I had planned for this, knowing I would need a plan for any possible event. I came around for an extra lap then hopped off my bike. As my coach Anje personally placed my bike in the gate, I sat my ass down on the track next to the gate and proceeded to pull my shoe cover down to check my shoe straps but in reality let my leg rest before getting back into the gate. With my teammates ready I nodded to the officials and the clock started again. Once again I got out clean and drilled the first lap, coming off with the first best time and third overall by the end of qualifying. As I got off my bike and got to the pit I put my headphones on, a towel on my face and got on the rollers, unable to watch the final rides knowing we would be on the bubble to make the finals. 20 minutes later We found ourselves in the bronze ride against Spain, having beaten the Czech Republic by 3 tenths, the team that beat us to bronze last year.
With a quick massage and lunch in me I went and hung out with my parents to escape from the ever crowded pit area. I was soon back and pulling on a new skinsuit in prep for our afternoon ride. In a change to our plan Anje told me to put a slightly bigger gear on my bike, in hope of gaining a bit of speed on the second half of my lap. In the past 3 weeks I had learned to never doubt him so I got up and took it for a spin when the track cleared, a good start to my warm up. Soon we found ourselves back on the start line, a mere 22 seconds of racing separated me from perhaps a medal but mostly my trip to Spain! My first start may have been my best one to date, I was absolutely flying when I hit turn one and there again were the two cracks in the air of the official's gun. I came around turn two to see the reason, a Spaniard was laying in turn one proper, not moving. We were called off track and handed our road bikes to spin around on as the Chinese went and upset the Brits.
We were called to the line and I stayed off my bike until the last possible moment, knowing the less time I spent in the gate the better. My final start was like the others, flawless. I came around to thundering cheers as I peeled off and let my teammates take it home, only to hear the call I had in my mind since last year. Team USA- fourth place. This year I didn't feel angry that I lost, just extreme disappointment in myself for not doing enough, and failing once again to podium.
With my head in my hands I sat in my own little world, unable to accept my near perfect ride. I had staff tell me great job and couldn't understand why I was so glum, I didn't care for another 4th place; I wanted to win a damn medal for once at the big show. It was only when I putting my equipment away and I saw my mentor and friend Adam that I realized what I had done, I had executed a ride 4 times in one day, and given myself a shot at making the team for London. He told me, "Yes, it does suck to take 4th, to be the first real loser. But I know one place in August where you would like to take third more than today". It took him saying that to break me out of the post ride haze, and allow me to look forward to my vacation and getting back on the bike.
the rides:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJjepSedhKU