an old note

My entire life has been influence by cerebral palsy. I have had C.P. since I was born and have struggled with how to define my self, and my life because of my disability. I continually ask myself each day if I am normal or genuinely disabled. On good days when I have not been slowed down because of my partly paralyzed leg and arm I consider my self normal. On days when I walk stooped over in pain I see my body as one of a cripple.
I have this trait because of a stroke I suffered before birth. I have undergone batteries of tests and have had to endure a surgery that was not beneficial to my condition. I was dragged to physical and occupational therapy every week for years until the demands of my siblings and school prevented the weekly trips to my therapist. I wore a plastic prosthesis on my left leg until age thirteen. This practice stopped when I declared that I did not need my brace because it exaggerated my limp and made me the center of attention whenever I entered an unfamiliar space.
As everyone, I have my good days and my bad days. On my good days I never stop moving, and am active and productive. On off days I am an unrecognizable person, tired and limping due to constant pain. The worst part of these days is exercising, my normally strong body limps along, each movement more painful than the last.
I continuously ask questions of my character as well as of my physical condition. I fought my parents when it came time to go to therapy, time to do my stretches. I now look back on those times in disbelief. As an endurance cyclist I routinely ride a hundred miles a week, having surpassed the skill of riding a bike as well as the commonplace task of walking. I now stretch everyday, getting ready for my next ride.
This condition has helped me in school because of its influence on every part of my life. Since I have had to work harder at accomplishing simple tasks I work harder at everything I do. School has been no different. I have channeled my energy into school and found that my drive to be equal to the other students has helped me to excel in my studies. My tolerance for hard work has allowed me to have free time along with a heavy course load. Along with a strong work ethic, dedication learned throughout the years has helped me organize my life around school. This disability has made me work hard to become the person I am today, for which I am grateful.
My I find my disability unusual because of the reactions I receive from new acquaintances. I can see from most people, though many try to hide it, a sense at disbelief of my condition. People never cease to associate cerebral palsy with severely disabled persons. I am different because although I may limp and have incomplete use of my left side I am a self-reliant, and engaging person. I am unusual because though I am different than other people I do not act different, but am an college student. I used to ask myself why I had cerebral palsy. I now think of it as a blessing, not a curse, an obstacle that has made me a hard worker, a conscientious friend and neighbor, and an overall better person.