christmas dinner-amazing

its called heaven on a fork. Beef tenderloin, combine with a bottle of santa lucia highland pinot noir and it will have atheists believing in heaven.

my riding paradise

40 miles, 2.5 hrs, 5 cattle guards, 5 grey squirrels, 10 turkeys, 1 lost calf. 2 cars. I'll take shitty pavement and rednecks any day.

I'm a wimp

I'll say it, i'm a total pansy. After talking to people stuck in the apocalypse of the Midwest I feel obligated publicly annonce this fact. I've been waking up in the morning to 34 degree weather and wait until noon to ride. The three years in santa barbara have totally softened me. full warmers, base layer and thermal vest are necessary for my 40-50 degree training rides which occupy my days at home. Even with all this clothing i'm still miserable, waiting for santa barbara's warmer weather.

fall wrap up

Ive only been done with school for a week but yet the last ten weeks seem so far away. ive been sleeping on the floor of my friends' house, chasing the good weather and sunshine on my bike. I arrived in San Diego a week ago, sleep deprived and coming off of the most intense finals i have ever had. I had a rude awakening after chasing eric bennett and clark rachfal for a good three hours for my first good ride in a week. Friday dawned foggy and threatening rain. always a good forecast for a time trial. I rode my butt off but finished with a time that reflected my lack of fitness. I left the OTC with a few new friends and a solid two days of riding under my belt. The next two days were spent hanging out in northern san diego, a place i have come to love in my occasional visits. Our wicked base camp started with a cruise up to Oceanside on monday with small group. Camp started on earnest on tuesday, with a 4.5 hr jaunt up into the interior, the group split when i got a flat and eric, mari and christian, one of our celebrity guests, took off for a slightly difficult ride back home. Worked, the most difficult thing i did the rest of the day was going out to dinner at Bestawan. Wednesay equals the wednesday ride out of carlsbad village. The most memorable event fom wednesday was Thurlow Rogers, or "Turbo", coming up to me and telling me that my seat was too low. While Bigos usually gets, your seat is too high, people are usually concerned with my mini calf and oversized right leg. This was unusual in that Turbo hardly ever talks to anyone. As Matt said, I've been on that ride for a few years now and I've never gotten more that two words from him. and he talked to you!? Thursday turned into a shorter ride as my left calf felt as if it was going to explode as i climbed with the group. Friday was a recovery ride and my last day pretending i had no life and no responsibilities. It was a successful ten days of riding and recovery after finals and it was hard leaving that night to go home.

cyclocross

There are not many times that i wish i was not crippled but as the fall comes around and the world cup series of cyclocross begins in europe i wish that i didn't have this gimpy left side slowing me down. While i have never raced cyclocross i know that without a fully functioning left leg and arm i could not dismount and run over barriers and stairs effectively enough. Cyclocross combines two sports that i love, mountain biking and road cycling. Growing up on a ranch i couldn't ride my road bike from my house due to the mile long dirt road to the county road so i road my mtb a lot. After seeing world cup on you tube i saw the beauty of cyclocross. A short, hour long effort, combining the bike handling skills from the dirt and the high speeds from the road. as i have watched more races i see the toughness these guys have as they race though cow pie covered fields, often in the rain, with races finishing in the snow or sleet. Plus the Euro guys have an awesome sense of style, who else would wear a white kit full knowing 2 minutes later it will be covered in mud and grime. After seeing my own inability to fully utilize a 'cross bike i have decided that to quench my thirst for cyclocross i want to go to belgium to see where part of my family was originally from and see a world cup up close. Complete with pomme frites and copious amounts of belgian ale, and scream my lungs out as the racers pass.

Naps

I'm a huge believer in naps. Naps were one of the things my parents didnt understand when i would come home from school during freshman year. I had a very bad habit of using my time at home during breaks as huge building blocks. No school, awesome food, warm bed? Com on, it begs for 25 hr weeks on the bike.My parents were ok with everything except my sleeping 16 hrs a day. I tried to explain that i needed the sleep, but they finally understood when the Time pro team took over our house, at all the food in it and the whole team proceeded to nap everyday. I was golden. Now i go home to soley train and hang out with my family. My mom and dad are used to seeing me up early, being gone for countless hours, stumble in caked in road grime and the elements and the shower and long nap that accompanies a good day of training.This is why i love going to training camp, after my first camp in April i was hooked, all I have to do is ride my bike. And no parents to question my recovery? I'll take take that

conflict

Sometimes I wonder if im doing the right thing. Last year after April camp I put aside all thoughts of going abroad in order to train to race at the best of my abilities. Now im wondering if i sacrificed a year of living in a country I have dreams about for a year of overfilled classes and pain filled workouts. I shouldn't be thinking like this but seeing friends go abroad this fall was pretty painful. I really do wonder sometimes if I am doing the right thing, I love two things, bike racing and making wine. In SB i have all the resources to race my bike and the degree to get a good job in the industry through my experience and my father's connections. While these thoughts help me work through hard science classes, i wonder if im sacrificing true contentment in order do fulfill my other passion, the dream of racing my bike on an international level. Then again, sacrifices have been made and you cannot change the past, i guess its time to HTFU, get class done with and get on with the bike. Spain and winemaking will always be there, legs don't last forever.

last thoughts

I'm ready for school to finally start. I'm ready to start training hard. I'm ready for early mornings and sober late nights. Because after two years and endless bitching, I'm still loving the life I've chosen to live. good night.

last days of freedom

Today was very busy. started out with finishing the new dan brown book and slowly started my day. Met the boss man at the Human performance center for a strength evaluation before starting a program for the fall. As usual i the therapist was intrigued by my weakness in some areas and buried strength in others. We were able to get a good idea of my abilities and connections with other resources. After tabling for a while and work at the shop i repainted a team sign with D-train on campus and then left for dinner with my grandfather and aunt and uncle.We had a great dinner and conversation that left me thankful for having family living so close to me.

Pretty sweet

So today Nordstroms reaffirmed that they might be the best clothing retailer in the world. Due to my CP my left foot is two sizes smaller than my right. Noty only did the store immediately offer to split two pairs to fit my feet, when the store in paseo nuevo did not have the right size for one of the shoes the manager called another store and had them ship the split pair of shoes to my house for free. Awesome. that's customer service.

an old note

My entire life has been influence by cerebral palsy. I have had C.P. since I was born and have struggled with how to define my self, and my life because of my disability. I continually ask myself each day if I am normal or genuinely disabled. On good days when I have not been slowed down because of my partly paralyzed leg and arm I consider my self normal. On days when I walk stooped over in pain I see my body as one of a cripple.
I have this trait because of a stroke I suffered before birth. I have undergone batteries of tests and have had to endure a surgery that was not beneficial to my condition. I was dragged to physical and occupational therapy every week for years until the demands of my siblings and school prevented the weekly trips to my therapist. I wore a plastic prosthesis on my left leg until age thirteen. This practice stopped when I declared that I did not need my brace because it exaggerated my limp and made me the center of attention whenever I entered an unfamiliar space.
As everyone, I have my good days and my bad days. On my good days I never stop moving, and am active and productive. On off days I am an unrecognizable person, tired and limping due to constant pain. The worst part of these days is exercising, my normally strong body limps along, each movement more painful than the last.
I continuously ask questions of my character as well as of my physical condition. I fought my parents when it came time to go to therapy, time to do my stretches. I now look back on those times in disbelief. As an endurance cyclist I routinely ride a hundred miles a week, having surpassed the skill of riding a bike as well as the commonplace task of walking. I now stretch everyday, getting ready for my next ride.
This condition has helped me in school because of its influence on every part of my life. Since I have had to work harder at accomplishing simple tasks I work harder at everything I do. School has been no different. I have channeled my energy into school and found that my drive to be equal to the other students has helped me to excel in my studies. My tolerance for hard work has allowed me to have free time along with a heavy course load. Along with a strong work ethic, dedication learned throughout the years has helped me organize my life around school. This disability has made me work hard to become the person I am today, for which I am grateful.
My I find my disability unusual because of the reactions I receive from new acquaintances. I can see from most people, though many try to hide it, a sense at disbelief of my condition. People never cease to associate cerebral palsy with severely disabled persons. I am different because although I may limp and have incomplete use of my left side I am a self-reliant, and engaging person. I am unusual because though I am different than other people I do not act different, but am an college student. I used to ask myself why I had cerebral palsy. I now think of it as a blessing, not a curse, an obstacle that has made me a hard worker, a conscientious friend and neighbor, and an overall better person.

School?

the past couple weeks i have struggled to the question of what are you doing right now? While the past two years have been dedicated to school, cycling has slowly emerged as a major player. Right now i constantly second guess my decision to be ready to drop school momentarily if given the chance to race my bike with the para team. I know i'll have a great time racing my bike but i worry that i'll be wasting my time if I fail to make a mark due to a lack of fitness or experience. I think that most of my worry will subsidy with the new classification system that is implemented in the new year. Right now i compete with true hemipeligics who have a normal, unaffected side and often their leg on their affected side is not as affected as mine is. Because of this my hitting my time standards has been subpar without a single talent pool time, let along the scorching national standards. Next year the classification will be function based, which will help some athletes but hamper others. Thankfully whichever choice i make i will have a great group of people around me. My parents after attending nationals now see the level that i compete at and see that cycling is not a passing fad. In SB i have an awesome team and great friends who understand what it is like to compete at the levels i aspire to. I have a coach that is willing to put up with my bullshit and push me to my goal of making a future games team. And around the country i have teammates on the para squad who all have the same goal of kicking ass and winning some awesome bling.

harvest has begun

I got to help my dad with the first harvest this last friday. I rode out into arroyo seco and met him on his way home from the vineyard. I hopped on the back of the truck and got paced back up the valley for a few miles. We went back to the ranch and set up to press the grapes. I was able to switch into autopilot when i had to set up all the hoses from my 10 years working alongside my dad. We had fun wrestling the bin dumper onto the forklift along with having to jerry rig some hoses. We started and after cooling off the drum i climbed up onto the hopper with a rake and pulled the grapes into the press. after the press cycle was finished we broke down the hoses and dumped the press, ending with me climbing up into the press to clean the airbag located on one side of the press and wash the inside. This is one of the messier jobs in the winery and one i have gotten pretty good at after cleaning out much larger presses multiple times a day at other wineries. After finishing this i ran up to to shower before dinner. I love this life in small doses.

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the bin dumper is on the forklift, harvest has begun!

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our well loved 3000 liter press. gets the job done. I won the right of climbing inside to clean it out when we were finished

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a bin of grapes in our handbuilt hopper over the 3000 Liter Press

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first load of grapes at Chesebro Wines! two tons of Sauvignon Blanc from Cedar lane vineyards in the Arroyo Seco AVA

going home

I get to go home tomorrow. while usually this is a unimportant event I'm really looking forward to the ranch and winery, and the black bottomed pool at the house at holman which i'll finally be use for the first time this summer. This summer has been a shit-show. I got out of school running, riding hard and feeling strong. I traveled to Colorado only to endup in the hospital with a chunk of eyebrow still on the 7-11 velodrome. Back to California to prepare for nationals without a bike until 3 days before competition. I rode well considering i had only 4 days back on the bike since my crash and hardly anytime in the aero bars. I missed the worlds qualification standard and ended up sixth in both the kilo and 3 k. I was glad nats were in LA as this is my home track and my friends and family could come and watch. My entire family came to their first real race for the kilo and corey and eric, fresh off the plane, came as well. Thankfully Joe patterson, a team mate on NOW was there volunteering and was able to help me off the apron after my race because my legs were so tired i didnt know if i could get down the stairs. after the pursuit i headed back to sb. I then had my birthday and headed home, only to make another 3 visits to the doctor with a MRSA staph infection that had me in bed for a week. This shut down the idea of road nats and i returned to SB to take a class and enjoy the summer.The past 6 weeks have been fun, work, class, new bikes, san diego trips, new oakleys, my life has been great. But now work has gotten old and i need a week to recharge before coming back to crash classes and help out with the cycling team.

things i have obtained in SD

New Road bike
new shades
and one awesome haircut

Back to Santa Barbara

Today i realized how much I love SB. After spending the weekend with my head down hammering on the San Diego coast i cruised north this morning with Eric after skipping out on the death march that is mt. palomar. While i love waking up and riding at my leisure i always look forward to my comfy bed and set schedule of work and school. While I am living a pretty easy life right now of school and riding, the eighteen years of living on the ranch in Carmel Valley has caused me to need a job or project to keep my mind occupied. Right now my riding time has slacked and my time spent at the shop has increased, much to the joy of my bank account. When school starts in a few weeks class will take the front seat as i get units out of the way in hope of taking time off in the winter or spring to race my bike. As classes start training will as well, with gym work to improve my start on the track and sustained power during time trials. On thursday i head home for a few days to hang with my family and ride on familiar roads.